So I have posted about this before, but putting the kids down to bed is actually something that I really don't like doing. It wasn't fun when Ariana used to scream for an hour or two if she wasn't nursed to sleep and it isn't fun now that she argues over every step. Tonight I felt like it went alright, not too much disagreement, but it still took me about 2 hours to get both kids in bed. Even after reading Ariana 4 books (a treat for helping clean up her room) and spending about 50 minutes with the bedtime process, she still spent another half hour or more talking to herself, asking for water, medicine, bandaids, and prayers to keep the nightmares away. Sunday she had a late nap since we went to Reuben's sister's late church. I feel asleep earlier than her, but Reuben said that she was dancing around until Midnight with him yelling at her for every few minutes to turn off the light, stop talking, etc.
Something really needs to change. Does anyone suggestions? I'm sure that we are doing a multitude of things wrong, but some of it is our lifestyle and that's just the way things roll to make everyone happy. For instance, we take her to a Judo class or the gym at least once a week until 8 pm (she usually goes to sleep at 9.) She also takes a long nap every other day (3 hours) and a short nap in between (1.5). I try to wake her up from her naps is she sleeps to long, but she's really comatose so even carrying her out of the room or letting Corban mess around with her (he swats at her and pulls her hair and clothes) doesn't change things. She just stays sleeping. She also usually doesn't get to nap until 1 or 2 most days because we are doing activities. She can't skip naps-it's only happened a handful of times in her life. If we think that she'll skip it while we go do something fun like an amusement park, she'll just fall asleep at 5 or 6pm and proabably wake up at 10 and go crazy. After dinner I usually feed corban some cereal to pack him full and encourage sleeping through the night (which still isn't really happening consistently) and let her eat a yogurt or a piece of bread or something. Too much sugar?
Anyhow, this is another long boring post about how I really don't know how to solve this problem. Really, going to bed late like 9 or 9:30 doesn't really bother me if she and Corban coordinate on their naps because I am not an afternoon person and would rather relax in the afternoon than have the kids in bed at 7 or something without the break in the middle. What bothers me is her staying up later after I put her to bed and she is stays up even later. Also, it's her waking up early too and being tired and not admitting it to herself. She's been not getting so much sleep and has been especially crazy!
Thanks for your patience guys! Looking forward to some good advice!
5 comments:
this just sounds like total chaos. I don't know how you stand it! Remember, you are the mom, but it sounds like you are letting a kid run the show. Not cool. I just finished reading "Supernanny: how to get the best from your children" and I see things so differently now. A quick read, you really must check it out.
I don't know if I have any suggestions, because what works for our family might not work well for yours. My kids love charts. There doesn't even have to be a reward when the chart is full. They just love putting the sticker or whatever on their chart as they're getting ready for bed. Right now we have a chart with spaces for all three kids to mark off as they get their pajamas on, brush their teeth, etc. They have so much fun getting ready for bed that we don't have any arguments.
About her actually going to sleep when she's put to bed, I don't know about, because I think that's something every kid does at one time or another. I would try sitting her down, one on one, when she's NOT tired, and just explaining to her how important sleep is and how it's her responsibility to go to sleep after she's tucked in at night. Or find a book on bedtimes and sleep and stuff. And after having that talk, I would tell her that when you are done tucking her in, you are done. You won't come back to read stories, say extra prayers, give her water, or anything else, and see how it goes. But make sure she's taken care of during the tucking in process, especially the no-nightmare prayers.
Good luck! You're a great mom. Just keep trying, and you'll find something that works for your family.
Oh how frustrating. I'm sorry. I really don't have much advice other than it sounds like there is not a consistent schedule. maybe making it consistent will help her get the sleep she needs?
As for her dancing around, I'm sure you would not do this, and I'm sure they don't sell them anymore, but I slept with a harness until I was probably 5. My mom said I would go play outside at all hours of the night so I got harnessed to the bed. She said it ended up being a comfort for me because I knew it meant bedtime...kind of like a crib.
This is so hard cause each kid is different.
Here is a link to a blog of a friend of mine who recently wrote about this very thing. She mentions a book that seemed to really help with bedtime. Sounds like you two were struggling with similar things. GOOD LUCK!
http://marknmandy.blogspot.com/2010/08/new-toddler-bed-time-routine.html
Logan would totally do this, but we have kept him in his crib and the crib is covered completely. My SIL turned the door knob around in her son's room and locked him in. Then she turned off the breaker to his room so he couldn't turn on the light. She added a little night light bc he was scared of the dark, but it was plugged in with an extension cord in the hall. I hear ya about schedules. You want your kids to have fun experiences (classes and trips, etc.), but it is a killer on the home schedule.
I agree with Carrie's suggestions (wow, she could right a parenting book!). For us, we set the rule that once they are in bed, there is no more getting out of bed, or calling for mom. My kids like to sleep with books in their bed, so if they choose to not stay in bed, or scream or whatever, they have to give me their books back. For the most part they have learned to respect the bedtime rules.
we went through the problem of Claire taking a nap during the day and then not being able to fall asleep at night until like 11. We would put her down at 8 and still hear her talking to herself until 10 or 11. It was tough because she was still tired during the day and wanting a nap, but she was staying up to late because of it. So we decided to phase out the nap and put her to bed earlier at night. Giving up a nap was hard at first because she was still tired, but it felt better that she was falling asleep at 730 and getting 12 hours of sleep. It took several weeks for her not to be so tired at nap time. But since morgan was still taking naps during the day, I had Claire do quiet time during that time- so usually she would play quietly downstairs or play on the computer.
Don't feel discouraged, because every parent faces new challenges that they may not know the best way to handle, and that is why it helps to ask other parents, who may have already faced the challenged and figured out what worked best for them.
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